This morning I watched this video that was shared various times on Facebook by fellow pupils from my all-girls school. I thought, “Finally, somebody did this and did this well”, because the idea of gender equality needs to be conspicuous in order to provoke viewers to question themselves and society. Later today, I realised this video emphatically broadened my awareness of people’s treatment towards me as a young, Asian female. I was at the supermarket and I was looking at the bunches of bananas as I wanted to find the best ones. A middle-aged white man next to me was rapidly picking random bananas and even was separating the bunches - I didn’t know you could do that so I was gazing. He obviously thought I looked clueless since he started saying to me multiple times, “It’s not that difficult, is it?” Initially I thought he was joking and I didn’t know how to react so I just nervously laughed and said, “Haha, yeah.” As he walked off and past me, he said under his breath, “it’s not that difficult”, and thats when I realised he was just being fucking condescending and rude. I finally picked a good bunch of bananas (I’m slow and indecisive) and I spotted him picking out some avocados or something. My aim was to catch his gaze and give him the most devilish glare but he didn’t see me. I did, however, give him the dirtiest look anyways. That incident has been bugging me ever since because it mirrored the video in a way. Why did the white man think he could mock me? He should have fucking respected me and let me pick the best bananas while he picked his own bunch of shitty bananas. If I were a white teenage boy, I doubt he would have said anything - that fatherfucker. I can’t stop thinking about what I should have done in that situation, which derived from patriarchal ideals. If I could re-do that moment, I would stand up against him with my sassiness and intelligence. At least next time I’ll be better prepared.
You probably think his remarks weren't of any significance but I think small actions can't be overlooked. I guess I've been taught to think critically about the causes of our behaviours.
- freak out
