Imagine yourself driving through your neighbourhood where you've spent your adolescent years. You see your-5-year-old-self playing on the playground as you drive past but its not exactly the same as it was 12 years ago. The swings, see-saws and monkey bars have been altered and improved to be more safe yet still exciting for the next generation. You catch the gaze of a young adult in the mirror of the sun visor hanging above you. The eyes are glazed over with worry and excitement as they wonder what they will see in the future. You put your foot down on the brake but your car is rebelling and continuing to speed past your memories.
A busted brake is a terrifying thought. I had this dream last night of my car brakes not working properly - ironically after I officially graduated from Epsom Girls Grammar School. I don't usually investigate into the meanings of dreams but I naturally realised what my dream was implementing;
I can't stop the maturation process.
I've come to grips with the reality I have to grow up and face the world. I'm ready to embrace the opportunities and responsibilities. As the school year was concluding, I became eager to finish school and say good bye to superficial friendships. I've definitely matured throughout this year as16-year-old-me had strongly resented growing up. The 16-year-old me would have also focused on maintaining friendships to uphold a certain level of social status (I think that was my mindset last year? or maybe it was 15-year-old me?). The 17-year-old me has learned its more important and satisfying to focus on achieving true happiness, which fake friends and popularity would never provide for me. I've learned to stop caring about what people (who don't matter to me) think about me. I've learned to make friends based on common interests. I've learned who are my true friends. I've also learned and experienced the beauty of hard work and dedication towards achieving a goal.
As much as I'm ready to embrace adulthood, I'm also going to just simply enjoy being a teenager this summer. I'm going to savour my last moments of being 17 and not force myself to grow up fast. I can't fight time. I just have to go with the ride. And I'm ready to move onto the next stage of my life and onto bigger and better things (hopefully).
Although we lose control of things (that we never truly had any control over), we can still steer the car towards our preferred destination.
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| Dazed and Confused (1993) |
- freak out
