2014 reflections | 2015 resolutions

In 2013, I had began my journey to self-acceptance through Kanye's teachings of self-love. Initially, my self-confidence was just a false front for the world but its grown into a genuine part of me like wild quinine. I didn't achieve anything amazing in 2013 but I obtained self-confidence which would benefit me in 2014...

2014 was the year of self-belief, hard work and determination, which I discovered were vital components of making 2014 a great year. I achieved (most of) my goals before December 31st, which included running the half marathon, getting a job and getting an AUT scholarship. I had my best academic performance (yet) in my last year of school, which coincided with the sacrifice of a portion of my social life (but I'm not bothered about it).  I'm glad I decided to change my subjects from statistics to Media because I uncovered my natural film-making talents with the creation of my documentary, "Following Tumblr Fame."  I also developed and strengthened my skill of "not giving a fuck" about haters, "basic" people, high school popularity and people's opinion of me. Some people would say, "Jess thinks she's better than everyone and thinks very highly of herself." But you know what? I am the best and I'm allowed to be proud of myself.  

Goodbye 2014. I had a great time. 

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I've always had idealistic dreams but I've also always questioned whether I could actually accomplish them. Although my goals were simple in 2014,  I've proven to myself I am able to achieve great things. And 2015 is the year of action. 

As I made resolutions for 2015, I asked myself, "How do I want this year proceed? What do I expect out of this year and myself? What are some things I haven't done before?" Of course 2015 will be another year for self-improvement as I aim to eclipse my 2014 achievements and better myself through new experiences. 

My 2015 resolutions

•  Start a zine

I'm frustrated and disappointed in myself for neglecting the formation of my zine in 2014. I've recently revitalised the production process  by developing innovative ideas but hopefully I can continue and uphold my motivation.  I've been asking my friends to contribute but I don't think they're bothered to do anything for it so I will need to nag them. 

• Start a band

Because why not? I love listening, creating and playing music but I won't be studying music at university so I predict musical abilities will slowly deplete. Unless I have musical people to fuel my passion for music. 

• Befriend people with similar interests and ambitions.

I can't wait to meet new people this year.

• Go to more gigs and concerts. 

When I turn 18 this year, I'll be able to go to bars and clubs to watch lesser-known musicians perform and I just want to experience new music without the internet for once. 

• Get a job at real groovy

music, film, books, magazines and vintage clothes... all in one place? Real Groovy is basically a translation of me in a shop form. They're not looking at hiring people until March though. 

• Read more books

I barely finished reading any books in 2014... I didn't give myself the time to read as I was either studying or socialising in my spare time. This year I shall aim to read 50 books.

• Be smart with money

At the moment, I'm spending a majority of my earnings on food and pointless things. I shall not waste money on alcohol and 'going out to town' because those things don't offer any benefits. I would rather spend money on things that would contribute to my future such as education and investments towards my career goals. I also need to save up money for an overseas trip because I need to flee Auckland eventually. I might aim for at least 5500 in the bank account by the end of the year and hopefully by the time I finish university I have saved up enough money to "do shit". 

• Learn to play Debussy's Reverie on piano 

• Compose a piano piece with no technology. Just pen and manuscript paper. 

I've composed pieces only on Sibelius on the school computers, which inserts the notation as you play. But now I don't have access to the technology so I have to revert to the old fashion ways of pen and paper. This is a good exercise to maintain and improve my musicianship - especially if I decide to quit piano lessons this year. 

• Continue to progress my "no-fucks-given-mindset" 

I shall not care about the amount of likes on an instagram post or my Facebook profile picture. I shall not care about the amount of followers I have on instagram. I shall "not give a fuck" about the way I present myself on social media.  (While this being said, I understand I need to improve my social-media-savviness if I want to be successful in my career ventures.) 

• ... and maybe also be able to play Bob Dylan's Mr Tambourine Man on the harmonica

2015 should intimidate me as it consists of my entrance into adulthood but I'm weirdly comfortable with it as it doesn't feel strange saying "2015". 2015 is going to be a great year because I'm going to make it great by creating new experiences, taking advantage of opportunities as well as making my own. Each year, I become more cemented in myself as a person and 2015 will be another year of self-realizations.  I will continue to develop my strong work ethic and skills I attained in 2014 to further progress in my odyssey to success. 

Hello 2015, it's nice to finally meet you. 

- freak out